WRITING

This gallery features writing produced and shared during narrative writing workshops facilitated by Suskihanna Gurung from The Wandering Voice  in November and December 2020 at The University of Hong Kong. (last updated 21st July, 2021)

Disclaimer: All writings are under ownership of their respective authors and all credit should be given to their author where they are due.

My Story of Self-worth

My Story of Self-worth

I was looking at my passport and plane ticket bound to Singapore, it was 12:30 in the morning on the 9th of July 2015. I looked so composed but deep within me were barrage of mixed emotions. There was excitement, there was fear and there was doubt but the most dominant feeling that time was extreme sadness. It was my first time to go abroad, to be called an overseas filipino worker, bagong bayani as they said. Ah finally, I thought I will have the chance to give a better life for my family. I closed my eyes and thank God a dozen times that day and asked His guidance. I asked God for strength. And while I was away, I asked God to look over my family, my loved ones especially my youngest who was just sixteen months old then. When I was lining up for check-in, the lady behind, asked me, "Miss, are you also going to Singapore?" I answered with a smile, "Yes" then she asked again, "a tourist?" Then her eyes looked at my backpack which was the only bag I have at that time. I said, "No, I will work there" after I answered her, I gave her the notion that I don't want to talk anymore. I was too busy minding my emotions. When we got on the plane, a few minutes before take off, I heard many people talking to their loved ones with their endless goodbyes. I had no more phone that time, I left it at the agency. We were not allowed to bring our mobile phones. I settled myself as the plane got ready for take off I looked out of the window, I silently whispered, "goodbye my beloved, see you again after two years." My vision became blurry, I gave in to my emotions.... finally. After almost 4 hours of flight the plane landed to our destination, Singapore, the City of Lions. For me, it was the city for my dreams. After a gruesome week at the agency, my employer finally picked me up. When I saw her, I smiled the sweeteest wishing she could read my mind which was saying that time "thank you for picking me up from hell". When we reached her home, her three kids greeted me warmly. The eldest was a ten year old boy, the second a nine year old girl and the youngest was a seven year old boy. I've seen them in the video interview at my agency in the Philippines before. Because of the warm welcome, I was very hopeful that things will be alright. Leslie, the Filipina who was about to finish her contract and soon to leave was friendly enough. The next morning, she lend me her phone and let me talk to my husband. When I heard the familiar voice after two weeks being away from them, I burst into tears. I told him how my stay with the agency went and everything that had happened. But I told him, that I was ok, even though I knew I was not. I tried to sound so strong so he won't feel worried about me. I asked him about our kids and I told him how I missed them so much already. I was crying even after our conversation. With no phone on hand, I took out my notebook from my agency. I made that my diary. Every night, I would write how my day went. Every night, I would cry while writing. My diary became my confidante from then on I decided to trust no one. My employer got hold of all my important documents, my passport and my work permit. I had no holidays too. It was a nightmare. I was only thankful when my employer finally allowed me to have my phone after two months when I talked to her about how I miss my children. Homesickness was really killing me. Fast forward, It was November 2015 when I decided to break my contract. Why? Aside from the tiring sixteen hours of work, I was also verbally abused by my employer's husband. Being raised from a home where respect is very important, I decided to stay away from people who would put me down and take away my self respect. I cannot fathom a total stanger to talk to me in such demeaning manner. Yes, I chose self-worth rather than money, I chose self-worth rather my dreams for my family. I chose self-worth because I love myself and I believe that loving yourself first will bring you to happiness. Much love and God bless! 💗 Original post, and for more of her blogs: https://www.pangyao.hk/blog/5f219c059132b200176eada2

I was looking at my passport and plane ticket bound to Singapore, it was 12:30 in the morning on the 9th of July 2015.
I looked so composed but deep within me were barrage of mixed emotions.

FirstBorn Happy Memories

FirstBorn Happy Memories

I stop at my university being unable to manage my tuition fee and other financial matters. My father is having his first child to his second wife and sacrifice my studies as we have no enough money. Our way of living back then is very hard compared to others. I started a small business, selling some delicate foods in our village to earn some money to continue my studies. Even how hard I tried, I can't continue going to school anymore. Having a baby is every woman's wish to have. Though I wish to have one but not at an early age, without finishing my studies. Then I ended up marrying my husband and have a family on my own. I focused on the family I am starting to build. I was so excited to meet the little angel I am carrying inside of me. I can feel a life living on mine, every moves inside me brings happiness. I have no idea whether he or she that I was carrying in my womb. Nine months of waiting, I am going to meet my firstborn baby. I was so excited to hold him/her on my arms. I prefer to have a normal delivery in our home with our midwife to avoid big expenses from hospitals. To my surprise, I had a very hard time pushing and my baby's one foot first came out. They need to bring me to the nearest hospital for about an hour to reach. I clearly hear the doctor saying they need to bring me to another hospital for a cesarian section for having a Breech delivery. I was then alarmed, oh my God! We have no money to pay for the bills. My godmother who's a midwife assists me whispers me to push harder. I gave my best to push harder and harder and harder even more. Finally, another foot came out and after a while, I heard them say "it's a Baby girl!" The room was so quiet, I can't hear any baby crying, I was then panic, asking, Where's my baby? Where is my baby? Everyone was busy taking care of my little girl. I was then so afraid that I will lose her so soon after coming out to the world. I feel like I was dying, I feel like my world stop by then. I close my eyes and keep praying God please save my little angel. Everyone cheered and finally I heard my baby's first cry. Thank God! for hearing my prayers. The doctor let me hold my firstborn child, my precious little girl for heaven. I can't explain how really I feel by then, the scariest moment thinking I will lose my little angel so soon. My heart was so happy while looking at her for the very first time. The angel I carried for 9 months, finally I am holding her in my own arms. The happiest moment in my twentieth existence in the world. To have and hold my very own firstborn child. And Angel sent from Heaven above to be loved and cherished. As long as I lived and before God will take my life back. I love you my BEBEgerl Jonielle Reichelle Weisz Salvador-Ramos . September 29, 2020 Lifediary511

I stop at my university being unable to manage my tuition fee and other financial matters.

My father is having his first child to his second wife and sacrifice my studies as we have no enough money.
Our way of living back then is very hard compared to others.
I started a small business, selling some delicate foods in our village to earn some money to continue my studies.