FirstBorn Happy Memories

FirstBorn Happy Memories

I stop at my university being unable to manage my tuition fee and other financial matters.

My father is having his first child to his second wife and sacrifice my studies as we have no enough money.
Our way of living back then is very hard compared to others.
I started a small business, selling some delicate foods in our village to earn some money to continue my studies.

Even how hard I tried, I can't continue going to school anymore.
Having a baby is every woman's wish to have.
Though I wish to have one but not at an early age, without finishing my studies.
Then I ended up marrying my husband and have a family on my own.

I focused on the family I am starting to build.
I was so excited to meet the little angel I am carrying inside of me.
I can feel a life living on mine, every moves inside me brings happiness.
I have no idea whether he or she that I was carrying in my womb.

Nine months of waiting, I am going to meet my firstborn baby.
I was so excited to hold him/her on my arms.
I prefer to have a normal delivery in our home with our midwife to avoid big expenses from hospitals.

To my surprise, I had a very hard time pushing and my baby's one foot first came out.
They need to bring me to the nearest hospital for about an hour to reach.
I clearly hear the doctor saying they need to bring me to another hospital for a cesarian section for having a Breech delivery.
I was then alarmed, oh my God! We have no money to pay for the bills.
My godmother who's a midwife assists me whispers me to push harder.
I gave my best to push harder and harder and harder even more.

Finally, another foot came out and after a while, I heard them say "it's a Baby girl!"
The room was so quiet, I can't hear any baby crying, I was then panic, asking, Where's my baby? Where is my baby?
Everyone was busy taking care of my little girl.
I was then so afraid that I will lose her so soon after coming out to the world.

I feel like I was dying, I feel like my world stop by then.
I close my eyes and keep praying God please save my little angel.
Everyone cheered and finally I heard my baby's first cry.
Thank God! for hearing my prayers.

The doctor let me hold my firstborn child, my precious little girl for heaven.
I can't explain how really I feel by then, the scariest moment thinking I will lose my little angel so soon.
My heart was so happy while looking at her for the very first time.
The angel I carried for 9 months, finally I am holding her in my own arms.

The happiest moment in my twentieth existence in the world.
To have and hold my very own firstborn child.
And Angel sent from Heaven above to be loved and cherished.
As long as I lived and before God will take my life back.

I love you my BEBEgerl
Jonielle Reichelle Weisz Salvador-Ramos
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September 29, 2020

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